i've moved to xtineyyy.blogspot.com

Thursday, 05 November 2009

  • just as stubborn

    November 4, 2009
    When I read through the Old Testament, I'm often intrigued by how stubborn/ridiculous the Israelites seemed to be. For instance, in Jeremiah, after the people had been taken off to Babylon, the remnant are left kind of stranded. So they go to Jeremiah, to ask him to inquire of God & they said
    5Then they said to Jeremiah, “May the LORD be a true and faithful witness against us if we do not act in accordance with everything the LORD your God sends you to tell us. 6Whether it is favorable or unfavorable, we will obey the LORD our God, to whom we are sending you, so that it will go well with us, for we will obey the LORD our God.” (jeremiah 42)
    &Jeremiah goes and prays for them. & Jeremiah tells them that God said to stay in the land, and not go to Egypt. And he warns them that if they do decide to go to Egypt, famine, the sword, and plague will certainly follow them there. And they will all die there. BUT, if they follow & trust in God, and stay in the land, they will flourish & God will provide for them.
    &guess what they do!
    yup, they go off to Egypt, because they felt that Jeremiah just wanted them to die at the hands of the babylonians. go figure.
    Be sure of this: I warn you today 20that you made a fatal mistakeb when you sent me to the LORD your God and said, ‘Pray to the LORD our God for us; tell us everything he says and we will do it.’ 21I have told you today, but you still have not obeyed the LORD your God in all he sent me to tell you.22So now, be sure of this: You will die by the sword, famine and plague in the place where you want to go to settle.”
    I mean, they had ALL the warnings they needed. They asked for God's word, and Jeremiah gave it to them, and still, they didn't believe. Every single time I've read that passage, I've thought to myself "MAN, why can't the Israelites just obey? Can't they see that God is planning for their GOOD?"

    But God has humbled me, most definitely. I am just like those Israelites. And it's so hard coming to that realization. I definitely understand when Jeremiah said "you made a fatal mistake." It wasn't a mistake to go to God and seek out His will, but it's a mistake to feign a desire to follow His will when all you're really hoping for is that His will will align with your own. It's fatal because so very often, our imperfect selfish wills are not aligned with God's, and then the struggle begins. The obvious route is to follow God right? But the old self is so strong along with its own plans, desires &wants.
    I feel like I'm in that position right now. I go to God; I want His will, His plan, &His desires for my life. I get answers, &it's nothing that I've expected. It's just like what I gained from the Acts passage over the weekend at Fall Con. Personally, I feel that Paul was God's pick to take the place of Judas. But when the other disciples gave God two options & drew lots, it's not like, Paul could miraculously appear in the drawing. So I've learned to not limit God to just what our options are, but that there is always another answer &God continues to surprise & baffle me.
    And now, with the answers I sought for, I feel like those Israelites. The old self is so strong within me. It's a struggle to really lay my will down at the cross. To really trust that God's will is best. To really obey, as hard as it may be. To be holy in everything I do; to not cut boundaries; to not take short-cuts; to not be selfish. But to treat others and myself like the precious chosen people we are.
    It's so.. obvious that God's will is best though. The promises He gives never fails us &we can always hope in those promises as well as His love &grace. And yet, our human nature makes us doubt so easily when the answer is so obvious. I guess it just makes me realize how far I am from really being dead to myself & alive to Christ. How far I am from having Christ living through me, and not trying to take this life back for my own use. SIGH!

    It's like sophomore year of high school all over again! Except this time, I hope/am determined to follow God's will wholeheartedly and correctly.

    Romans 8:28
    And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
    now to really believe & act upon that!


Saturday, 24 October 2009

  • Christ in the mirror

    October 24, 2009
    When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you wish/hope to see?
    I sometimes like to just stare at my reflection. For some reason, it intrigues me to see myself, &consider how the being I see in that mirror is so very much loved by God, even though it is not perfection staring back at me.
    There's another reflection though, that I believe most of us fail to realize.
    And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit (2 corinthians 3:18)
    We who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory are being transformed into his likeness. It makes me happy beyond measure to realize that I am being transformed, from my imperfections, into his likeness. Christ's likeness. That is such a weighty statement and transformation. And yet, I feel like we treat it so lightly. Do we REALLY know that we reflect God's glory? That we are to be transformed into his likeness? That we are broken vessels through which God chooses to reveal his glory through? Because I feel we so often disappoint in this aspect. We don't live like we are to reflect his glory; that our lives are to look like Christ's. Yeah, it is God working in us and not ourselves bringing about this transformation. But we cannot expect to make no changes to our lives, playing all day in the ways of the world &expect to just one day wake up &find that we've miraculously changed to be good godly holy people. And yet, we still live very much so in our old &natural self. We are not convicted to change because we always make up a benefit for something that in the very depths of our heart we know is of no benefit to our spiritual lives, but that we hold onto so dearly &will not let go.
    Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. ... Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. (John 14:9-10)
    A pastor pointed out that this should be true of us as well. After all,
    I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. (Galatians 2:20)
    So here lies the harder question then. Since it is not us living, but Christ living in us, can we say that anyone who has seen us has seen Christ? That the words we speak, the stuff we do, our very lives are not our lives, but Christ's life in us? No, I guess none of us can really own up to that statement, because we are still trapped in this sinful, imperfect body. But we so often leave it at that. "I am a sinner. That's what grace is for right?" Or we leave it at "Do what I say, not as how I act." And we go on with our merry lives. But I believe we're missing the point. Is this not something to aim for? Were we not told to "aim for perfection"? We often give up before even attempting to really die to ourselves, and I believe it is because this is no easy thing. To completely die to ourselves is as contradictory and uncomfortable to ourselves as it is to bend your arm the wrong way. To have Christ completely living in us would cause such a huge upheaval in our lives; it would mean the death of our expectations, our desires, our wishes, our plans, our interests that are not from or of God, the death of everything that originated from self. It would cause such a great upheaval that the very thought of it scares us &so we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to sit content with our damaged lives (often wondering why we feel so dry and empty) while the devil rejoices in the fact that we are missing out on the greater glories God has to offer. We don't want to bother ourselves with it, because we're content and happy with where we are &God's grace is sufficient for us right? However,
    For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 corinthians 4:17-18
    All these possible trials and troubles are really just light and momentary troubles when looked at in the light of what it is achieving us: an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
    What's more appealing is God's promise. That
    [He] will be a Father to [us], and [we] will be [his] sons and daugthers (2 corinthians 6:18)
    And
    Since we have these promises...let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. (2 corinthians 7:1)
    Yeah, we have a part in this process to. We must purify ourselves. And I believe that the "everything" that is spoken of that contaminates body and spirit really does include everything. Everything that is not of God, and that will not bring us closer to him in a good &godly way. We do not hate sin enough &we do not desire holiness enough. And it all leads back to our lack of reverence for our Almighty God, does it not?
    Often I hear people considering ways to bring people to Christ, or considering why it is that sometimes it is so hard to do so. I think one reason is that we don't live as though we have a treasure. Our walk with God, our spiritual lives, these promises that we have been given. They are not precious to us. We say they are. But we don't act as though they are. So why would others even consider this as something worth looking into?

    I pray that we would really take hold of these promises. Of our transformation, our "reflections." That we'd really come to live our belief that all these things we have been given in Christ are precious and are our treasures. That we'd come to see how fleeting everything in this life is. All its pleasures, fun, and happiness that it can offer are nothing compared to the eternal glory and life that is being achieved in us as is promised. That we'd hold everything loosely in this life so that when it comes time to let these things go so that we may grow & mature &to have the glory and life of God even more greatly revealed and shined through us, that we'd let go without a second thought. That we'd give up what we have deemed to be our rights so that we may receive from God even more.

    I believe that God often has a lot that He wants to impart and give to us, but our hands are always full. Full of the things of this world, its temporary pleasures and happiness. We are afraid to give these things up because we have been subconsciously believing the lie that this world does have something to offer us, that if we were to give up everything in this world, we'd be left bored with just God. And we fail to realize that it is not until we have given up everything of this world that true joy & happiness may start. That when we are finally willing to drop all these cheap trinkets we hold so dearly to ourselves in our hands, God will give and bring to us what is truly gold and silver; what cannot perish &what will satisfy like no other.

    And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. (2 Corinthians 5:15)

Sunday, 13 September 2009

  • oh happiness!

    there's grace, enough for us, &the whole human race!
    (oh happiness, david crowder)
    i really like this song :) it is so happy sounding & it is so true! that His grace extends to all of us, oh happiness!!

    lately (more like the last month), i've been realizing that obedience to Christ, like humility, prayer, etc., is indeed a discipline and a process to be brought to perfection and completion only by God's work within our lives. on wednesday, during sg, we studied half of chapter 1 of 1 peter. vs. 2 particulary caught my eye:
    who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ...
    obedience to Christ is a process, a discipline that we must adhere to, but that we cannot fully do on our own. as i read the Bible &reflect on it more&more, i realize how very counter-cultural and counter-logical (unless we have renewed our minds) the commandments in the Bible are, how very difficult it is for our sinful self to obey and adhere to, and how obedience to Jesus Christ without the continuing work of the Spirit in us is going to always be at an elementary level: obeying the letter of the law, but not necessarily the spirit.

    as the Spirit sanctifies us, as we grow in our new life, as we fall deeper in love with our Savior, it is impossibleto not realize that unless we make it a goal to live by a higher standard, we cannot be emptied of all the junk in us enough to have Him fill us more, to have more of His image, love, characteristics, etc in our lives. to me, living by a higher standard doesn't automatically come when we become Christian and adhere to "Christian" rules. i love the way Tozer put it, his "new cross" is the current modern religious trend, his "old cross" is the Biblical one:
    The new cross does not slay the sinner, it redirects him. It gears him into a cleaner and jollier way of living and saves his self-respect. To the self-assertive it says, "Come and assert yourself for Christ." To the egotist it says, "Come and do your boasting in the Lord." To the thrill seeker it says, "Come and enjoy the thrill of Christian fellowship." The Christian message is slanted in the direction of the current vogue in order to make it acceptable to the public.

    ...The old cross is a symbol of 
    death. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took up his cross and started down the road had already said goodbye to his friends. He was not coming back. He was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise, modified nothing, spared nothing; it slew all of the man, completely and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with its victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more.
    to live by a higher standard, is to completely die to our old self, to this world's values, to deliberately NOT conform to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (romans 12:2).
    i really liked this one pastor's insight on Mark 10:21.
    Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
    the pastor pointed out the part that said Jesus loved him. When Jesus loves us &when we are at a point where we want nothing but Him, He will require of us above and beyond the norm. Selling everything one had was not part of the ten commandments, it's not something you have to do, so why did Jesus ask the man to do so? because Jesus loved him; because Jesus wanted to be his all, because Jesus wanted a deeper relationship with him than just one based on following laws. if we want to serve God wholeheartedly, if we want to be overflowing with God's power, we must not be surprised when He begins to ask us to obey a higher standard than the one we are already following; instead, we should rejoice, because God has seen our desire and has counted us worthy to live according to a higher standard.
    In a large house there are not only utensils made of gold and silver, but also those made of wood and clay. Some are for special use, while others are for ordinary use. (2 timothy 2:20, ISV)
    in God's house, there are vessels not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble and special purposes and some for ordinary. do you want to be the article of gold? or of clay? the article used for noble purposes? or for ignoble? special? or ordinary? if we want to be used by God for special and noble purposes, we're going to have to be a vessel of gold and silver, a vessel that obeys and adheres to a higher standard. we cannot expect to be christians totally immersed in the practices and doings of this world, and expect God to use us as a vessel for special purposes.

    one example of living by a higher standard is shown by the verse 1 thessalonians 5:22. in the NASB, it states: "abstain from every form of evil" but in the KJV, it states: "abstain from all appearance of evil." by the NASB version of this verse, we are obeying it if we generally do not do anything actually sinful. but by the KJV version, to obey it, would be to adhere to a higher standard, because to abstain from doing anything that could even give the appearance of evil requires much more of a person than just not doing the evil itself. for example, in referrance to couples who "just" sleep together at night, i've often heard others justify it saying "but it's not like they had sex," but if we are to hold ourselves up to the standard of the KJV version, why must we give even the appearance of sex? there are different standards of purity &holiness, &depending on what type of vessel we hope God will use/view us as, we will aim to adhere to different standards of purity & holiness.

    i myself am learning to obey God more and more as He reveals to me how very rigidly i would view His laws and commands. i'm gradually beginning to see that His commandments for us aren't just a bunch of "rules taught by men" (matthew 15:9), they aren't just lines that we cannot cross, &no matter how close we get to them, as long as we don't cross them, we are fine. but that His commandments are a lifestyle, areas of our lives that we hand over to Him for complete control.

    i use to view the command to "honor God with [my] body" (1 corinthians 6:20) as just in reference to sexual immorality (after all, it's under a section subtitled "sexual immorality"). but if God cares about our sexual selves, does He not care about our health? does He not care about what we put in our bodies? our minds? hence, with this realization, i've been learning to honor God with my whole body, with my sleep schedule, my eating habits, my exercise schedule, the things i read, the things i watch, the things i listen to. it's not easy, that's for sure. just the other day, i was eating a cup of instant noodles for lunch while listening to pastor chuck smith's sermon on leviticus &how God cares about what we eat. i thought it so ironic and in the end i threw away half of the instant noodles. i'm definitely still learning to honor God with my whole body, but thank goodness for grace when i fail and for the fact that it is through the sanctifying work of His Spirit that will bring my obedience to Jesus Christ the obedience that God requires of me. :)

    there, but for the grace of God, i go

Thursday, 27 August 2009

  • &You loved a people undeserving

    abundant blessings/crazyyy things overflowing everywhere! & so i must recap (for myself) or else i shall forget. God is epically amazing. i hate how i can't find any other word other than 'amazing.' (i've lost my gre vocab T_T) it's such an understatement.

    >1. retreat: Can you hear Me now?
    so retreat update is way overdue. but man, it was epic. the retreat's theme was basically to hear from God, & i believe many people did in one way or another. beside the fun stuff like getting to know the hs girls better &being encouraged by their genuine &pure desire to get real with God, it was awesome seeing 70+ asian kids jumping up &down during worship &worshipping from their heart. our retreat was from friday-monday, with monday really just being a day to clean up & drive home. friday & saturday, for me, was like any other typical retreat. msgs were good, worship was good, etc. &yeah, God's presence was there. but sunday night was when i could feel God there. in our midst, around us, in us, permeating, just EVERYWHERE! it was intense.
    sunday night, during worship, i just spent some time praying for a variety of things. &as i prayed, &got caught up in that moment, i suddenly realized i was asking one question over & over again "why are You so real, God?" dumb question i know, cause duh, God is real. but really, i was so ridiculously awestruck by how real God is. how powerful &close He is. how real the spiritual realm is. how we're in a spiritual battle, &there are so many areas of our life that the devil can permeate without our knowing. &i was awestruck (scared? maybe?) by the idea that my prayers had weight. that God would be willing to listen to my prayers &reveal them powerful. that God would be willing to dwell in me & work through me. little, faithless, unclean, undeserving me. it boggles my mind. i cannot comprehend it. but then again, when have i ever been able to comprehend God's ways?
    the major thing God reminded me at this retreat is that spiritual warfare is real. &there are many people putting themselves in harm's way without even realizing it. in every single area of our lives, if God isn't Lord over it, then the devil is. &if i want to give no foothold at all to satan &desire to be a useful &strong Christian soldier, then i am going to have to live by a higher standard. i've realized particularly that i need to really watch what i listen to/watch/say. during worship, songs (+the Holy Spirit) can move people to their knees. other songs can drive people to violence, sex, anger, or the like. that just shows how powerful songs can be &how songs really do affect one's spirit. &if we do not "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" then we're going to have a lot of junk in our minds.
    so this year, i'm going to take seriously spiritual warfare &really seek to discipline myself &grow stronger spiritually so that when obvious times come where i need to stand & fight with prayer, i wouldn't shrink back in fear because i feel unprepared, small & weak.

    >2. prayer: powerful weapon
    prayer is sooo powerful. ever since i found my prayer journal that i started back in 2001 (it's got like 5 entries in it -_-) i've started keeping a prayer journal again. it's amazing the way God answers prayers. &i'm glad that now ill be able to remember how faithful God is time & time again. it's the beginning of the semester &i've seen answers to my prayers twice already. one is picking classes. i had been deciding btwn three courses as my final 3rd course. but after speaking to one of my profs (who is also chair of grad admissions ;]), she suggested i take stat 133. &wow, much better choice than any of my three (except maybe the bible lit class haha) but stat 133 is suppose to be on programming (i like!), easy, no required textbooks, no big final (final is 10%!!!) &adds to my statistics course repertoire (which grad schools like.) so win for all :D! i am waitlisted but i shoullldd be able to get in. :) !
    &second is finals. i was suppose to have two finals on the second to last day, back to back (6 hours total T_T). and both those finals were for classes that would matter. buuuut, today, the prof of one class informed us that there is no final for the class! just a final project! better than a final. haha. okay that is all. i'm going to go read now

    &i like "to know your name" by hillsong. we sang it a lot
    Arrested by your truth and righteousness,
    Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness.
    Convicted by your spirit, led by your word,
    Your love will never fail, your love will never fail.
    --
    &You loved, You loved a people undeserving!

Thursday, 06 August 2009

  • the necessity of humility

    7“Two things I ask of you, O Lord;
    do not refuse me before I die:
    8Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
    9Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the
    Lord?’
    Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God. (proverbs 30)

    Recently, I've been listening to a sermon series on humility. As I listened, I realized more and more just how prideful I am, how subtly pride can manifest itself in our lives, and be the very root of so many of our conflicts with ourselves and others while masking itself from us. For example, being reluctant to do something because you do not want others to see you as prideful is actually a form of pride. Ironic isn't it? Because behind that reluctance lies a fear of what others will say about you, how others will see you, &because you have a pride and reputation to maintain and safeguard from misconceptions of you, you do not want to step out for fear that they will see you in a way that you do not deem correct. To be really humble, we must focus our eyes on Jesus and Jesus alone, imitate his life, &to see everything out of His perspective, which is so much easier said than done. Pride can be so easily hidden from ourselves, and that scares me the most.

    I happened to read 2 Chronicles 14-16 yesterday about Asa, king of Judah. At the beginning of his reign, Asa did what was right in God's eyes:

    4He commanded Judah to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, and to obey his laws and commands. 5He removed the high places and incense altars in every town in Judah, and the kingdom was at peace under him. (2 chronicles 14)

    &during war, he trusted in God to win the war for them even when the odds were against them. :

    11Then Asa called to the Lord his God and said, “Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. O Lord, you are our God; do not let man prevail against you.”

    12The Lord struck down the Cushites before Asa and Judah. The Cushites fled, 13and Asa and his army pursued them as far as Gerar. Such a great number of Cushites fell that they could not recover; they were crushed before the Lord and his forces.
    wow, what a God-fearing king. Not only that, he also had God's favor:
    1The Spirit of God came upon Azariah son of Oded. 2He went out to meet Asa and said to him, “Listen to me, Asa and all Judah and Benjamin. The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. ... But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” (chp 15)
    he was faithful to God in everything he did. he kept to the commands of God and had all his people seek God. &God rewarded him:
    19There was no more war until the thirty-fifth year of Asa’s reign.
    But things took a turn for the worse in his 36th year. Baasha, king of Israel, was fortifying a city nearby to go against Asa, and instead of turning to God for help, Asa went to Ben-Hadad king of Aram. Asa made a treaty with Ben-Hadad and Baasha king of Israel retreated. However, because Asa decided to rely on men rather than God, God was not pleased:

    7At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him: “Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand. 8Were not the Cushitesb and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemenc? Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand. 9For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.” (chp 16)
    Asa, instead of humbling and repenting himself immediately (for God often shows mercy when we humble ourselves immediately), becomes enraged & throws the seer into prison. Asa's end was not a happy one. From then on, he never sought the Lord, even at the end of his life when he was afflicted with a disease:
    Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians. (2 chronicles 16:12)
    What caused Asa to go from such a God-fearing king who walked in God's ways to a king who was so unwilling to seek the Lord? I believe that one of the factors was pride. At the beginning of his reign, Asa relied on God, especially since he could see that he was so very outnumbered by the enemy. I've realized that many times, it is easier to trust in God during bad times than during good times. This is because during bad times, we know things are bad, we see the limits of our abilities and knowledge and recognize easier the limitless power and faithfulness of God. Anyway, sometimes we don't seem to have many other options to go by. It's easier to humble ourselves when we really realize how bad everything is going because we see more clearly how powerless we are.

    But when things are going well, and everything is fine and dandy, God very often gets pushed into the back of our minds. We know that God blessed us with everything, but after awhile, we start taking our comfortable surroundings for granted and start taking pride in what we think was our doing. I think that this may in part be what led to Asa's downfall. Those 30+ years without war were a gift and blessing from God, and Asa knew it at the beginning. But I think that as the years went by, as Judah prospered, and her people lived in peace, Asa began to drift from God and take pride in himself and his kingdom. And in that 36th year, when the test came to see if Asa would still rely on God, he failed. Even worse was when God pointed out his failure to recognize God as God of Judah and gave him a chance to humble himself and repent, Asa instead becomes enraged and throws God's servant into jail. I believe that the disease at the end of his life can be seen as a God given opportunity to bring Asa back to God. All Asa had to do was humble himself and repent and seek the Almighty God's assistance, but Asa just wouldn't, that's how far his pride had taken him from God.

    Pride is a scary thing, and it is so very opposite to the life that God intends for us to have. The pastor that I am listening to said that Jesus, our Lord and King, is really the epitome of humility. And if we, as Christians, really do want to live a godly life that honors God and that upholds Jesus as king of our lives, then we must be humble. Because how can a humble king dwell in me if I am proud? My pride would push him out &set myself on the throne of my life. And he, being the humble king that he is, will not force himself into my life.

    For me, I've realized that the most common manifestations of pride is through judging/criticizing others. Examples of judging and criticizing would be like if I am patient and considerate but I see someone else who is not, and I think to myself of how ungodly that person is. This is pride, and Paul says in 1 corinthians 4:7:
    7For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?
    Every good thing is a gift from God. My patience and consideration of others is really a grace and gift from God. Maybe I grew up with a well mannered family or maybe I was just born with a better temper, either way, both I received by grace from God and so I would have no reason to boast about it.

    The pastor told a story that I really liked. A woman was passing out religious pamphlets one day. She handed one to a guy walking by. The guy took it, spat on it, and threw it on the floor. The woman picked up the pamphlet, wiped the spit off onto her nice dress, and said "I'm sorry. I didn't know that you would be offended by that pamphlet. Let me give you another one." The guy was taken aback and instead stammered that he will take the original pamphlet instead.

    I think if I had been that woman, I would have been fuming with anger and had thought that it was my right to feel angry. After all, it was so disrespectful right? But I guess that's what really strikes me about humility, it's that we don't demand or act by what the world says is our rights. Instead we look to God for justice, for victory, and basically for everything.
    "
    5But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed. " (Mark 15:5) I like that verse, because it reminds me that when we are really living a life with its source in God, we will amaze people & God will do the rest. I find it so amazing that a humility that results in a willingness to quietly take the mistreatment by others, to finish the tasks that do not deserve the spot light, and to love and encourage those who hurt me can result in me being seen as 'stupid' and a 'push-over' by the rest of society and yet can have such power that it will shock and startle those same people.

    Pride is a big hindrance to our growing mature spiritually. If we want to serve God some day, we must learn humility, lest we shame God's name by demanding our "rights" or by thinking we are better than those around us. Growing up in a church, I've really come to appreciate those who serve in the church. Those who want to serve in the church must really learn to practice humility and give up their rights. The church is not like the work place. In the work place, you can expect/demand a higher salary as your skills increase or as you work longer in the place. In the work place, if you are the manager, you can demand respect. Not so in the church. Jesus died for us and bought us with his blood. And if our Master didn't demand his rights (philippians 2:6), then how can we, the servants, demand any rights?

    here's a nice article on humility &Job that i found: http://northwaybaptistchurch.com/resources/morning-manna/184-humble-yourself-now.html

Friday, 24 July 2009

  • a beautiful irony

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090724/ap_on_re_as/as_nkorea_christian_executed
    the article is about how this one north korean christian woman was executed for distributing a bible. the article goes on to say how christians face much risk in north korea, how they are jailed &how religious prisoners are often treated worse than the other inmates.


    though it is a lot better nowadays, christians in china face similar treatment. the torture techniques they used were so gruesome. i've heard of chopsticks through the ears, ripping off of nails, plunging people into ice cold water, etc. i will not go on..

    my great grandfather was a pastor in china &he died in jail.

    john wycliffe put himself at a huge risk when he challenged the catholic church & believed that the bible should be translated & made available to the ordinary people.

    we hear of these stories a lot. of christians getting persecuted, tortured, killed all over the world. yeah, it shouldn't be like that, but yet we should expect it to be like that, for Jesus said
    Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. (john 15:20)
    & again:
    "But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you. They will deliver you to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. (luke 21:12)
    while i'm sad listening/reading these kind of articles and stories &hearing about the plight of these people, i am more sad that we with our religious privileges do not value our walk with God enough. people put their own lives at risk to translate the bible into our language for us & yet we don't even treasure reading God's word. we're too busy with other things. fellowships in other parts of the world look forward to having guest speakers come (a rare event)&when they do come, they camp out so eagerly in small, sordid quarters to listen to the bits of wisdom & knowledge these guest speakers have to say to them. yet we with our plethora of speakers/guest speakers care more about critiquing the speakers than actually listening to &doing what the speakers have received from God. christians in other parts of the world put their own lives at risk by meeting with others just to fellowship, read the bible, pray, share, &listen to what GOd's been doing in their lives while giving hope &encouragement to each other. while with us, our fellowship consists more of hanging out and meaningless discussions than prayer & bible study.

    i was listening to a sermon the other day, &the pastor mentioned the topic of persecution. when the pastor first became christian, she was greatly persecuted by her family. she says that in high school, the thought that consumed her the most each day was just the hope that when she gets home from fellowship, she wouldn't be beat by her father. she was too busy living in the face of persecution to even think about such things as dating. my mom, when she first became christian, was also persecuted by her family. &yet she told me of how much she treasured reading her bible & going to fellowship. &how when she first realized that there was a God, the thought that came to her mind was that since there really is a God, shouldn't our entire lives be lived out for Him? we, however, without persecution, are always wrapped up in our thoughts about dating, that boy/girl, this job or that internship, video games, tv shows, how we look, what our position in society is, etc. all such meaningless things if we were to compare it to our actual life's purpose of living for God & God alone. these things aren't bad or wrong, but way too much of our time & thoughts is spent on such trivial matters when we have the full privilege of having the option to openly grow in our relationship with God.

    i really believe that suffering brings out our true selves. i wonder, if all the US christians were placed in north korea, how many of them would still call themselves christians? while suffering may cause some to fall away, it causes others to grow stronger in their faith & reliance on God. isn't this type of persecution ironic? the persecution is intended to stop christianity, &from a worldly perspective, it should stop right? i mean, after all, the same concept of using harsh punishment to stop certain actions such as murdering, stealing, &lying is often used & often works for the most part. we don't see a strong unified band of murderers in the US in the face of capital punishment. yet, we see strong christians in areas where persecution is prevalent. not only are they strong, their numbers increase &they're able to rejoice! &yet in areas like our own, where there is little to no persecution, we see such weaknesses in spiritual lives, pride & conformity to the world's standards, increased occurrences of depression, increased numbers of those falling away, distortion of biblical truths &moral concepts, splitting of churches, etc. we would expect that in such a lax community, there'd be stronger christians right? there'd be more appreciation &treasuring of the faith right? i guess not. what an irony! &yet what a beautiful irony: that christians could grow stronger because of persecution. that God's glory could be even more revealed through sufferings. that sufferings are actually spiritual blessings. while worldly blessings &comfort can so often kill the spirit.
    Before I was afflicted I went astray,

    but now I obey your word. (psalm 119:67)

    It was good for me to be afflicted

    so that I might learn your decrees.

    The law from your mouth is more precious to me

    than thousands of pieces of silver and gold. (psalm 119:71-72)

    while i really cannot bring myself to pray that God would send life-endangering persecution on me to help me grow, i know that i can learn to rejoice and give thanks constantly as to how very blessed i am &to face each smaller trial or 'suffering' with more joy & thanksgiving since i know that God would be able to use it to help me grow & bring glory to His name more. these articles &stories remind me to take my relationship with God seriously. to take this privileged &blessed time to grow, because, who knows, one day i may no longer have this privilege, &if we can't be strong during easy times, how will we persevere through the difficult?
    If your law had not been my delight,

    I would have perished in my affliction. psalm 119:92

    may we really delight in God's word &in the easily accessible & comfortable fellowship we have with one another. may we appreciate our privileges now & make the most of them & not wait until we lose these privileges in the end days to regret what could and should have been.

    //edit:
    &what does it mean to treasure our privileges? i really do think it means taking our relationship with God more seriously. reading the bible everyday. praying everyday. spending time with God everyday. these are the daily activities that the north korean christians probably wish they could do openly & safely. we have the privilege of doing it openly. of being witnesses for God openly without persecution, yet. to live our faith out loud. to understand that the north koreans are continuing to be christian even though they are being persecuted reveals how great of a treasure we have &how blessed we are to be able to enjoy this relationship without the threat of being executed.

    i feel that they are privileged spiritually. they have been chosen to suffer for God. how awesome is that. &it is an emphasis on them in that we will pray for them. the emphasis on us will be prayer that we may grow &have the same courage they have. that we may contribute to the body of Christ just as strongly as they have. & that when the times comes for us to be persecuted or suffer, we will have the same faith & courage as they do.

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

  • hypocritical lips

    Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
    psalm 63:3
    Recently, I've noticed more and more the differences in discussion material and style between the standard of the secular world and the standard Christians are held to. It's weird, but I think I've become more sensitive to crude jokes and topics and profanities now than ever. I remember how I used to line my sentences with profanities back in junior high too, but now, I just wonder what the point of it is. Some people use it to release anger, some to emphasize emphatically what they are feeling, and some seem to use it just because that's what everyone else is doing. But I can't really think of a necessity or meaningful reason to use profanities and it saddens me that our society has lost the ability to express our raw emotions with appropriate, civil, maybe even classy, articulation and resorted to using crude profanities that even 3-year olds can spew mindlessly.

    Memorizing James last summer and listening to sermons on Ephesians this summer has allowed me to realize how seriously God takes the things we say, and how these words aren't just mere words. They affect our spiritual walk and life; they affect the very real spiritual warfare going on at this very present moment for our lives. In Ephesians 4:29-30, it says
    Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
    When I read that this past year during my devotions, it really hit me hard. 'No unwholesome word.' That seems so difficult and it's something that I realized we do not take seriously enough in our generation. What was even more interesting is the second verse: "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God." In the past I used to think that saying bad words, talking about inappropriate things would affect God the way it would parents in general. They'd get upset because it's not classy and it's rude. But actually, it says it would grieve the Holy Spirit. The word grieve is often connected with the event of death or loss, so it really stood out to me when I read how the mere words I am saying could grieve the Holy Spirit.

    Why would it grieve the Holy Spirit? I think for two reasons. One, this is a loss of a particular area of our lives to Satan. If God does not have control over the things we say then Satan does. As a Christian, God should be Lord over every part of our lives. On the other hand, the devil seeks to take away those parts for his own use. Second, the Holy Spirit grieves because "... men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (matthew 12: 36-37) wow. every careless word. that is serious. that includes every word i have ever spoken to my parents, friends, or brother in anger. every word i ever said about another person in judgment or condescension. the Holy Spirit grieves because he knows that one day we will be held accountable for those very words we're so carelessly and thoughtlessly speaking today.
    Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. (romans 12:1)
    Our mouths are included in 'bodies.' James 3:9-12 says:
    With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
    Our mouths are to be used as instruments of praise to bring glory to God. Yet, with these sacred lips, we curse, judge wrongfully, criticize with condemnation, gossip, argue, and complain. 'This should not be.'

    Profanities and crude jokes aren't the only categories under 'unwholesome words,' complaining and arguing (philippians 2:14), gossiping (1 timothy 5:13), and even meaningless talk can be included under 'unwholesome words.' These verses have really alerted me to how seriously God takes every part of our lives and how we are "to be children of God without blemish in the midst of [this] crooked and perverse generation" (philippians 2:15). I aim now to let no unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but only that which will build up and benefit others. The words we speak always start off as thoughts first, and so one major step in holding back the unwholesome words we say is to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 corinthians 10:5) How awesome would that be?! to take captive every thought, &make it obedient to Christ. I'd love to live in a world where everyone took captive every lustful, angry, proud, self-righteous, etc thought and made it obedient to Christ. Let us aim, then, to be perfect, just as our heavenly Father is perfect (matthew 5:48), starting with ourselves.

Friday, 17 July 2009

  • o the wonderful cross

    today, on my way to work, i was listening to a sermon &the pastor went into a description of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. while listening to the sermon, i realized that i really did not comprehend nor appreciate enough the significance of the crucifixion and what a gruesome ordeal Jesus suffered through to save me, to take on what was to be my punishment for my sins, and to allow me direct access to God through him. the whole thing speaks to me of such tremendous unconditional love that i am ashamed at my self for treating the subject with so little emotion, for continuing to grouse and whine about my trivial matters or temporary pains, and for ceasing to rejoice and give thanks when things get slightly bumpy. the pastor spoke of a couple facts regarding the crucifixion that grabbed my attention.

    you know, only Luke, the physician, mentions the fact that Jesus was praying so earnestly and anxiously in the garden of Gethsemane that his sweat was like drops of blood. (Luke 22:44) I find it so amazing that this medical fact is mentioned by the physician Luke as this gives us a glimpse into what Jesus was feeling when he was praying and awaiting His death. the actual medical condition where people sweat blood is called
    hematidrosis and according to wiki, it can happen "when a person is suffering extreme levels of stress, for example, facing his or her own death." Aside from the fact that Jesus knew that his death was going to be excruciatingly painful, Jesus' extreme level of stress and anxiety could be attributed to a couple of other things. First, the knowledge that his disciples were going to abandon and deny Him. He knew that they were going to be as sheep without a shepherd, and that at this time, they will all abandon Him. Second, the weight of bearing the entire world's sins; Jesus was to be the scapegoat, the taker of all our sins, our sicknesses, our sorrows, our darkness, and our rightful punishment, all on Himself. What a huge &terrible burden to take on!

    third, and probably the most important factor, the fact that to carry all our sins meant to be cut off from God. God hates sin, He feels immense wrath toward it, and I think we do not really realize just how abhorrent sin is to God nowadays. we always read the New Testament where it is seems to be more obvious that God is a God of 'love', and we get this idiotic picture of a God who is like a grandfather who loves &allows his little grandchildren do whatever pleases them so long as they are happy. false. the God of the new testament is the same as the God of the old testament and throughout the old testament, we see how God begins to set apart Israel by constantly emphasizing over and over again how holy He is, how holy they were to be since they were His chosen people &priesthood, and how great His feelings of wrath and abhorrence are for sins. He is still a God of love in the old testament, as can be seen the many times he warns the israelites to repent and at the prayers of his faithful servants, relents on the punishment He had so decided for the israelites. But God is not only a God of love, but a God of justice and righteousness. And so, since Jesus is to take on all our sins, he had to be cut off from God. Some people ask whether God really forsook Jesus at the cross or not. God did. why? because Jesus had all our sins on him. God cannot allow sin in His presence. it's like two magnets of the same charge, you just can't stick them together. And so in Matthew 27:45, we see that when Jesus was cut off from God, there was 3 hours of total darkness.

    I cannot imagine being cut off from God. that'd be the worst state ever. Whatever situation I am in, I constantly pray to God for guidance, for protection, giving thanks, telling him my sorrows &joys, etc, and I just can't imagine being in a state where I will literally have no one to go to when I am in a state of distress. So thinking about Jesus' crucifixion and how during that time of immense suffering, he was not only abandoned by all his disciples but also forsaken and cut off from God at such a time that I believe, if it were us, we would have liked best God's presence, I am able to appreciate more the privilege of having direct communication and access to God through Jesus.

    the other interesting fact mentioned by the pastor is that Jesus refused the wine mixed with gall that was offered him. this wine mixed with gall would have had the effect of stupefying him since this was used as an anesthetic in those days. but Jesus refused it after tasting it. at this time he must have been in immense pain. first, he was flogged by the Romans with their whip that had glass or metal at the ends that would just rip pieces of your flesh off. normally they are not suppose to flog them to death and so they flog them until they are half dead, or more than half dead. according to wiki "Such a device could easily cause disfigurement and serious trauma, such as ripping pieces of flesh from the body or loss of an eye. In addition to causing severe pain, the victim would approach a state of hypovolemic shock due to loss of blood." :O then there's that crown of thorns on his head. &then finally being crucified. the crucified person's entire body weight is held up on the cross by the two nails in the wrists and the one that goes through both feet. apparently, when you're up on that cross every breath is painful since to breathe, you must lift yourself up on those nails. hence this accounts for why the last 7 sentences Jesus spoke while on the cross were short sentences.. obviously. so if he was in so much pain, why'd he refuse to drink that anesthetic? because he wanted to experience it all, experience all the pains, sorrows, sicknesses, etc
    for us. he took everything upon himself for us so that "we [would] not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses" (hebrews 4:15)

    4 Surely he took up our infirmities
    and carried our sorrows,
    yet we considered him stricken by God,
    smitten by him, and afflicted. (isaiah 53)
    as I slowly understand the full implications of how much Jesus suffered for us, how obedient he was to the Father's will, and how much He loved us who abandoned, mocked, disgraced, disrespected, and hated him, I now understand how it is that those saints could be always joyful in the midst of their persecutions and trials. thinking about Jesus dying for me is enough for me to rejoice. I think this is an important realization for me as I've realized recently that it's been harder and harder for me to give thanks and rejoice. I've been easily discouraged and discontent lately but after listening to that sermon, I realize how foolish and ungrateful I have been, and how merciful God is to still bless me with so much. I'm so blessed with everything God has lavished on me. &even if I didn't have these blessings, I still have the reminder that God loved me and treasured me to the point of even giving His own son to die for me. that alone is enough for me to rejoice and cease my complaining. I now know that following this command will not be as hard as it use to be:
    "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 thessalonians 5: 16-18)
    since: "... God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (john 3:16)

Wednesday, 08 July 2009

  • saul or david for president?

    in no way am i referring to the book Jesus for President. the title just popped into mind. 

    rereading through the Old Testament has really opened my eyes to how very flawed and broken the people God used were. how very unlikely candidates they seemed to be. i think we often overlook these flaws. i mean sure, we 
    see the flaws: murder, lies, adultery, idolatry, but we don't really think about these flaws in relation to the offices God placed them in. for example, moses, the friend of God, one whom God spoke face to face to, who led the Israelites out on their epic exodus from Egypt, had started out as a murderer. if the exodus of the Israelites took place today, and we had a say in who was going to lead them out, would we have chosen moses for the job? yeah, he was the great prince of Egypt who was probably the favored candidate to be pharoah next, but he killed someone! what if the israelites got into an argument with him (which they did many times) & he decides to murder them just like he did that egyptian? then it wouldn't be the exodus of the israelites, but the exodus of moses the israelite. that'd be a bit risky. but God chose him, and he became one of the greatest leaders of all time. there's never been another like him. 

    the stark contrast between what God looks at and sees in humans versus what we see led me to reflect on what if saul and david's story took place today. complete with paparrazzi and media portrayals. &instead of being kings, they were presidents.
     we've got saul: tall, handsome, goodly guy (1 samuel 9:2). kind of godly i suppose, at least he started out that way. a good leader who could round up his people to fight against the enemy. but then saul disobeys God over&over again, &starts doing things his own way. he also goes kind of insane. but he is the type of king people would pick. 
    now enter: david. youngest of eight. mere boy shepherd. plays the harp. writes poetry. anointed as king, i mean president. 
    i wonder, if david were a candidate for our presidency, would we have elected him? would we have reelected him for a second term? or would we have ousted him? first we hear that God has anointed this boy shepherd, with no experience militarily and politically & in terms of leadership, his minions are sheep. talents? harp playing & poetry making. with that kind of a resume, we'd never elect david to be our president. &then after he's anointed, he doesnt even go up to saul & oust him from his office. maybe we'd find him to be a coward, maybe we'd see him as just a big joke. but then! david defeats the 9 feet giant with mere stones & a slingshot! that gives him plus points. maybe we'd elect him now. however, saul gets jealous & tries to kill the poor boy, so he disappears &goes on the run. &the only news we hear of him after he disappears is how he travels with four hundred social rejects & went to live in enemy territory. mm not a good record. but let's say we elect him anyway! i'd bet we'd oust him after hearing of his committing adultery with his soldier's wife, and then murdering that soldier to cover up everything (the soldier was one of his best too!). he also had too many wives & sons &wasnt the greatest father. his son rapes his daughter &then his other son kills the offending son. then that son tries ousting his father &taking over the country. that failed, fortunately. but then at the end of his life, david's other son tries taking over the country again. time &time again, david does nothing to discipline his sons. if he were alive today, the tabloids would love him for the stories they could sell on him. 

    on the surface, david's life is filled with many areas of failure. though he was a great warrior & a godly man, if we &the media were to review david's life, we'd never suggest him as a candidate for the presidency. sure he loves God &has immense faith in God, but honestly, today that counts for nothing, even among some christians, sadly. we look at the same qualifying factors as the rest of the nonchristian world does: leadership? experience? looks? resume? achievements? these all hold more weight than a pure heart after God's very own heart. 


    some might say "but that was then, this is now. it's different today. we've still got to look at leadership & experience." but that's a lie that the devil & this world tells us. it makes us believe that what makes people great is their achievements &accomplishments. it makes us believe the lie that God is looking for an accomplished, well rounded, goodly leader who will do great things for Him, when God is actually looking for ordinary people who would allow Him to do great things through them. (1corinthians 1:18-31) "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 samuel 16:7)
     

    we often gloss over the command to "not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (romans 12:2) we limit the command to such things as the chasing after fame, money, &power. but that's not all, we must also stop conforming to this world in terms of the way we view others, the way we hang out, the things we talk about, the things we let into our minds, the way we approach dating relationships & friendships, the words that come out of our mouths, etc. 


    i guess one way we can begin this transformation of our mind is to stop looking at everything that is wrong, the mistakes of our leaders &the ways in which we think they could do better because God hasn't placed us in authority, but we know that "there is no authority except that which God has established." (romans 13:1) &we are commanded not to critique them, but to make "requests, prayers, intercession and 
    thanksgiving ... for everyone— 2for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." (1 timothy 2: 1-2).

Friday, 26 June 2009

  • life & death

    (i wrote this on tuesday & was going to post this a couple of days ago, but decided not to. but now i am... haha.)
    there is such a fine line in between.

    "when their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
    on that very day, their plans come to nothing."
    psalm 146:4

    lately i've been thinking about that fine line a lot.
    saturday, andrea & i were suppose to go to cue. i took surface streets to drop off mom, and they took the freeway. their car flipped. luckily, her &jerry came out of it with only a few cuts. when i got to the scene to pick them up & saw the car, i was pretty surprised that they came out alright. all i could think/do at the time was keep thanking God that they were alright while js standing there, staring at the car, thinking how much worse it could have been.

    air france 447 went down with 228 passengers. those passengers probably boarded that plane thinking they would be seeing friends/family in a few hours. looking forward to the plans they had. there were four other people who were suppose to be on that flight. they are quite lucky.

    in hs, my friend's oldest brother got into a car accident &died. he was a sr in hs. he was suppose to go to college in the fall.

    when i get to work, i check my email & read the news first. & i often see headlines like this: at least 9 dead in DC Metro crash, woman stomped to death by cows (o_O), teen kills sister, 2 shot in the head by intruders, michael jackson is dead, etc. (reading the news is depressing T_T )
    the dead individuals have been reduced to mere numbers. when i read these numbers, &just see them as numbers, just one part of the statistics, i feel detached. as if they were one whole world removed from me. but when i start thinking about what those people must have been thinking as they boarded that plane/car/train/etc., as they started that day, what they had planned for the weekend, for next week, for next month, etc., then do i realize that i relate to them. they are just like me. they are another human, who had once walked, breathed, laughed, cried, planned, &thought, believed, that it wasnt their time to die yet.
    like many people my age, i am often caught up in this mentality that i still have awhile to live. im only 20. so scientifically i have a good chance of living another 30-40+ years (that number may be less as i am now horribly out of shape T_T i am a fatty). but statistically there is still a probability that i may not. we like to believe that we won't be part of that however many % that, statistically, are expected to die. but someone's gotta be part of that percentage, &sometimes it ends up being one of us.
    because we think we have the rest of our lives still, we don't treasure our time &lives enough. we waste it on a bunch of meaningless things. i feel like a lot of people want to grow more intimate with God. they want to grow spiritually, but they feel no urgency because they think they have the rest of their lives to do it. they can do it after this movie, after this test, after this hang out, after this trip, after this game, after they get their MBA, after they get married, til they reach their death day, &realize that they really didn't have as many 'after's as they thought they did.

    yesterday's reports on michael jackson dying struck me as bizarre. i don't know why. im not even a crazed fan. but hearing about deaths always strikes me in a weird way. just like when i heard about psteve passing away. it's weird thinking about the plans they had for the future &knowing those plans won't be coming to fruition. one hand, i'm envious of them that they are done with this life&world &are on to the real stuff. but on other hand, i am thankful &glad i still have time to grow closer to God &serve/glorify Him here. :) time is limited, life is short. i am determined to spend more time &effort on my relationship with God, cause that's really all that matters in the face of eternity.
    on another note, whenever i hear about deaths, i wonder where/how those people are doing now. are they jumping for joy at the sight of their Lord &Savior? or are they hanging their heads in shame, sorrow, &regret. in one case, it's glorious. in the other, it's terrifying. eternity is a real long time. &the decisions we make affect how we will spend eternity.

    2 I will praise the LORD all my life;
    I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

    3 Do not put your trust in princes,
    in mortal men, who cannot save.

    4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
    on that very day their plans come to nothing.

    psalm 146: 2-4


    go ahead &tell me that "Faith in a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves. (eric hoffer)" we'll see who is more worthy of our faith: God or man, when we're all dead to the world & alive in the spiritual realm.

Top Tags - Weblog

[no tags]

xtine_xx

  • Visit xtine_xx's Xanga Site
    • Name: xtine_xx
    • Country: United States
    • State: California
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/30/2003

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

About Me

Pulse

xtine_xx has no pulse!...